The driving test is on a closed course reminiscent of a go-cart track at an amusement park. It doesn't really test your REAL road-driving skills.  It feels silly and it is a big pain in the ass.  That being said, you must jump through the hoops to get your license so there's no point of groaning about doing it.  Oh yeah, you'll most likely fail the driving test at least once.  It's my own personal conspiracy theory that this driving test is a scam to collect money from foreigners.  I failed twice, but I've know other people who have taken the test four times, while their others who hired the services of driving tutors passed their first time out.  And, just to let you know now, if you fail it will most likely be because of something stupid and inconsequential.  The first time I failed, I was told it was because I didn't use a cross-over hand to turn the steering wheel.  The second time I failed, I was told I drove TOO slow on the straight-away and because I wore sandles.  The third time I passed, but I was hungover and made a wrong turn on the track.  You go figure the logic.  Of course, it was on the third try that I also decided that I would start paying the 4,000 yen fee using 100 yen coins. ;)

All gripe aside, I would suggest checking your bad attitude at the Licensing Center door because it won't help you pass the driving test.

So, when you return from your lunch break at one p.m., you will most likely walk over to the driving course along with a handful of test-takers, probably all foreigners.  The instructor will invite you three of you at a time into the 'driving test' car, which will look familiar because it's the same model as all the taxis in Japan.  He (most likely) will drive around the course one time and point out some details on the track.  He will most likely speak only Japanese and will later give you directions in only Japanese. When he stops, he will get into the passenger seat and invite one of you lucky contestants to sit behind the steering wheel of hell.  His invitation is where the test begins.  He will be watching you like a hawk.  Here are the tricks of the trade:

TEST-TAKING HINTS:

1. You might think about take 1-2 lessons with a driving instructor.  Each lesson will be about 3,000-5,000 a piece.  These lessons have no bearing on whether you're a good driver.  They simply will give you some tips of what to watch out for come test day.  However, if you're like me and refuse to take the practice lessons, read on...
2. Before stepping into the vehicle for the test, do the must-needed-but-never-done-in-reality check in front and back of the car for those small children, cats etc.  Look around the car a lot!  Your neck should be a little sore afterwards from bobbing around looking at all that imaginary traffic, high school students on bikes, children, pets, obachans, etc.
3. Also, before getting into the vehicle, put your hand on the driver's door but before opening it and check both ways to make sure a random vehicle isn't going to come by all of a sudden and take the door off the hinges when you open it.
4. After getting in the car and before starting the engine, adjust your seat, mirrors, check your instruments and fasten your seatbelt.  Then, do the pre-flight checklist once more to ensure the drill sargent next to you sees you did it.
5. Watch those hands!  Keep both hands on the wheel at all times, positioned between 9-10 and 2-3 o'clock.
6. This sounds mundane but at stop signs and/or traffic signals ("robots" for my South African peeps) make sure you stop behind those fat solid white lines that are located in front of crosswalks.
7. When you're making any turn:
• Make sure to employ the hand-over-hand steering wheel turn.
• Check your rearview mirror, side mirror, then manually turn your head behind you to look before making any turns.  You might even think about doing this process twice.  The manual head swivel is to check for bikes or motorcycles swerving past you as you turn.
• If you are taking the stickshift test, make sure you are in second gear when you turn.
• Unlike back home, you must turn into the farthest lane not the closest.  So, if you are in an intersection turning right, you will turn into the left lane and not the right lane, with your leftside tires hugging but not on the solid white line.
8. Make sure you accelerate to 40km or more on the straight-away.  Then, slow down by pumping your brakes exactly three times.  Will you fail if you don't do this?  Who knows, but keep in mind the driving test will seem like the most sloppiest driving you've ever done in your life but it's okay for test purposes.  You figure out the logic to that one...
9. In the S-shaped and L-shaped area, make sure you tires don't fall off the track because it will be an automatic failure.  Also, even if you are comfortable driving through these tight areas and even if you don't hit anything or your tires don't fall off the track, you could possibly get tagged for going too fast through this area.

After the test is over, you'll most likely receive a quick lecture in Japanese before letting you out or changing seats with the next driver.  Most likely, the lecture will include all the wrong things you did on the test, but keep cool.  At this point, you don't know if you've failed.  I would suggest keeping a level head throughout the entire process, even if you find out you failed because when you take the test again, you could get stuck with the same instructor.

OFFSITE LINKS:

• Driving in Japan & Passing the Driver's Test
• Maps of Driving Courses